Optimize for Fire, Not for Calm

Some people wake up and check their pulse.
I wake up and check if I care.

“Optimize for enthusiasm.”
Sounds like a startup guy’s t-shirt slogan, right?
Except, it’s the only rule that’s ever actually worked for me.

I’ve tried discipline. Tried suffering through things I “should” do.
Didn’t get me anywhere—except numb.
Nobody tells you this: If you keep choosing what drains you, you become a ghost long before you’re dead.

2017 was a blackout year. I couldn’t feel much, didn’t want to talk, didn’t care if I failed physics or failed at life. I didn’t care about being “successful.”
Didn’t care about being anything, really.
All I had was music.
It was the only thing that didn’t feel pointless. The only thing I wanted to get out of bed for.
So I followed that.

Years later, I can’t give you a 10-step plan for happiness.
But I can tell you, boredom is a warning sign.
Energy is a green light.

Whenever I did the thing I was actually drawn to—whether it was putting on a stupid metal hairband just to see who I was under all that hiding, or telling a whole class I wanted to do music and getting laughed at—something in me felt alive again.

You can call it enthusiasm. You can call it fire.
Whatever.
The only choices that never screwed me over were the ones that made me want to do more, not less.

So here’s the practical bit:
When you notice you want to say yes, actually say it.
When you feel even a drop of interest, respect it.
If something pulls you in, don’t analyze it to death. Just try it.
It’s not about “passion.” That word’s too clean.
It’s about what wakes you up instead of putting you to sleep.

Life is long, but your energy is limited.
The world will always try to sell you comfort, safety, “balance.”
Chase what sharpens you, not what dulls you.

Most people die by a thousand tiny surrenders.
If you want to live, optimize for the opposite.

Nobody builds a legacy from indifference.
If you have the urge to run at something, run at it till your legs give out.
If you’re going to burn out, at least let it be for something you love.

Me? I’d rather burn than rust.
That’s the only rule I trust.